A day in Dewey's university life...

I didn't realise it were possible for me to complain or say so many stupid things in one day until my uni friends kindly documented everything I had to say in around a two hour time span. For your amusement, they are listed below:

1. I'm going to have no friends by the end of this semester from complaining to much.
2. I have no direction.
3. Ohhh... Ahhhh... Um. Fuck.
4. On the plus side, I have a fucking good conclusion.
5. If she can hand in six hundred words less then i can hand in a 500 word essay. What's the fucking problem, Christina? You stupid pregnant lady.
6. I dont think theorists really know what they are talking about
7. Ew that smells like onion.
8. I'm thinking of getting a drink on the way to class, I just dont think I can cope.
9. Fuuuuuck, why are laptops so annoying?
10. I think I might go to the library after class. I need some alone time.
11. I cant believe I brought alllll my clothes to uni.
12. Anyone want to get a drink with me before class? I KNOW YOU DO ANNELISE, DON'T YOU GO ANYWHERE MOTHER FUCKER.
13. Honestly we need a cleaner or something in here.
14. This boy confuses the shit out of me.
15. Follow your brain, your hearts a fucking idiot.
16. I have alot more references than i thought. Lets have a clap for becca (everyone actually clapped).
17. Sometimes i just chuck it in so they know im fucking smart.

Iv learnt two things from this:
1. I need to sort my language out at uni, its filthy
2. I like to drink.

Will start updating this again for my loyal readers :-)

Making a difference

Hey everyone,

It’s been a while since I wrote a good blog I know. I’ve been letting life experiences come at me so I have something entertaining to amuse you all with but now I find myself sitting here trying to think of something interesting going on and apart from dating arseholes, dealing with assignments and dancing, dancing, dancing life is really the same. Unfortunately with tonight what im going to talk about isn’t very funny but I hope im helping in some small way.

My grandfather has just been diagnosed with cancer. It has a big fancy word for it but to me that doesn’t really matter because as soon as we all heard the ‘C’ word we knew it wouldn’t be good. He starts chemotherapy soon in hopes that it will slow it down but we have been told he has less than a year left to spend with us.

I love how positive he’s being. Going through something like this must be the scariest thing in the world but he very rarely shows his concern, in fact, apart from being a little more tired than usual I can hardly tell that he’s sick which is why it’s so frustrating. It really is the silent killer.

My other grandfather passed away from cancer when I was 12 years old so I have seen this happen before although this time it’s a little harder knowing exactly what’s going on. Anyway, the reason for this blog is I want to do something to help. Im sick of just sitting on my arse thinking about my tiny problems when there are so many people suffering from this horrible Illness. I want to organise an event for the beginning of December to raise money to give to the cancer society of New Zealand.

This event is going to be a show seeing as that’s what I know best but I need your help. Im looking for everything from a cheap venue to people that want to do stand-up comedy to food and drinks for the evening. All the profit from this event is going to go to the cancer society and I hope to make just a little bit of a difference to help people like my grandfather get the best possible help. If you are interested in helping with it by showing an act (singing, dancing, comedy) or helping with anything to do with it then please comment under the link iv posted to Facebook or email me.

I know this isn’t going to save my Popa but I’d still like to help out where I can and this event is definitely possible. I have filled out a proposal form and sent it off to them so the planning starts now! Even if you just come and attend the evening by purchasing a ticket you would be helping.

Im sorry that this blog has been a little more serious but it’s a good way of getting the idea out there.

Thanks guys, Get in touch. 

Change

Change scares people.

Take Facebook for example. Its gone from profile pictures to cover photos to timelines to being able to see when a person has viewed your message. And then go ahead and look at the negative feedback on your home page from it. E.g "What the fuck is up with this timeline shit!".

Change means adapting. Adapting can be scary in some situations. Its called life. Deal with it.

Okay so the face book was an example of small change. What about bigger change? Some times its exciting, sometimes scary and sometimes just plain horrible and unwanted. Break ups in relationships for example. No one likes adapting to not having a certain person in their life. But without learning to live without that person you your not living. Its all part of the plan as my dad would say. There's your first day at a new job, or first day of uni. Thats exciting change but it still doesn't stop you from feeling a little sick to your stomach.

Going out of our comfort zone is a big deal for us crazy humans. And that's exactly what change is. It sometimes means you have to feel uncomfortable in order to achieve.

Im not quite sure what made me think of this. Just lying here in my bed reflecting back and seeing how much has changed. Just gotta run with the line "Everything happens for a reason" i guess and hope for the best.

If you sit back and pray for things to stay the same theres no doubt that you will be missing out. A friend told me "you miss 100% of the shots you dont take". I dont think he could be any more spot on if he tried. Cant just be lazy and hope for things to fall into place. Sometimes gotta stare change in the face and say "come at me bitch".

So here's to change, it keeps the world spinning :) Hope you all had a great weekend and heres a goal for you all. Do something that makes you feel a little uneasy tomorrow. Could be good for ya!

Its a girl thing.

What girls do at drinks, before town, at a sleep over or even just hanging out.

1. First of all, you think our albums are filled with photos? Maaaate, you dont even know. We take about 100 more on top of what we have already put. Gotta pick and choose the goodies.
2. At about ten-O-clock just before we go out there's the rush of checking lip gloss, the right amount of body and face bronzer being reapplied, more eye liner to make those eyes pop. All of this being done with about six other girls in the bathroom doing the same thing.
3. We sing. No we dont sing. We scream. And not just the latest top twenty on the charts. Im talking spice girls, aqua and even shania twain.
4. On the way in there's the oh so attractive last minute sculling of the drinks.
5. A classic at sleep overs is prank calling. Dont forget to turn off caller I.D first!
6. If one of you lovely men happen to text one of the girls out of the group, dont just think its her replying... oh no no no, there are definitely about 8 girls replying to this message if its something scandalous or dramatic.
7. We Facebook. Not just at sleep overs or just hanging out. When we are drinking we go on Facebook. Its a must. Checking in is essential.
8. Pretty sure you do this one to boys but we cause silly fights with taxi drivers and pay them less because of their "bad service". This then leads to crazily running down the street (or should i say stumbling) in heels.
9. You know its an ultimate good night when you rip out the heart to hearts. This can be done drunk or sober.
10. Pretty sure at the end of the night we have more of an appetite for maccas than you do after a game of rugby.

Just a quick one tonight guys, im sick and uni is holding me down! Note to self: Not All of these things happen in the one night. :)
 

Teachers Pet

I want you to think about your high school crush. Better yet I want you to think about the teacher you perved on during class to make time go a little faster. I had one particular teacher crush at high school, unfortunately for me he didn’t arrive at my school until my 7^th form year. However, it still made my final year at school much more enjoyable!

I know you’ve all had sneaky crushes on at least one person that has taught you. Whether it was the babe’n twenty-something female that wore tight pencil skirts and loose blouses, or the tall bald man that had such a kind personality and charming way. There’s always something about at least one teacher you have that gets ya.

I’m not going to name names but I will tell you why I had such a crazy crush over this particular teacher of mine. Of course all my close friends and people in the same class will know exactly who I’m talking about but I’m relying on you jokers to keep the giggles to yourself.

I’d just picked up this particular class in my last year and at the beginning I regretted my decision. Before my lovely teacher I had a very evil man teaching me this subject. For starters he didn’t know what the hell he was teaching, had the worst temper and got angry at all of us whenever we asked a question. After numerous complaints about the guy he finally left the school. Now I’m not sure if that was our doing or if he left on his own terms but we were all pretty happy to see the back of him. Then at the beginning of the second term my dream teacher walked through the doors. Hands down, the funniest teacher I’ve ever been in the presence of.

I think it was his humour that got me. Everyone knew within the first two weeks of him being there that I was completely smitten with the guy. And yes, he knew as well. Sometimes I’d put on my acting side and ask him when we were going to get married. One time he brought me lunch and I remember telling everyone that he was definitely interested. It got to the point where my wee obsession over him amused him and he eventually just went along with it.

The only bad thing about this class was he got quite upset at the lack of attention me and three other students gave him when he was trying to teach. It got to the point where he told us he would still mark us present on the role even if we didn’t show up. He said that the rest of the class could then perhaps learn something and we would be less disruptive if we weren’t there. He meant well and of course a small side of him was just teasing us so me and a good friend of mine turned around and told him we would definitely pass the paper. Well, we did better than pass. When we got our exam results back from Cambridge we went into school to show him especially. This was because we both got B’s (I think it was around 75%). He didn’t believe us until we whipped the piece of paper out to prove it. Now he tells his current students that if me and my friend can pass then anyone can.

On the last day of school we played a bit of a prank on him and went and brought some guppies. We put the guppies in his glass of water (he would always ask my friend to go and get him water) and sat back and watched him almost gulp down the guppies. His eyes popped out when he realised what was in his water and the entire class cracked up laughing.

When I go back to strathallan on the odd occasion I always make sure I track him down and give him a big hug.  He had a great combination of fun and seriousness in his class and I think that’s why I adored him so much. Obviously these are only some of the funny moments we enjoyed with him but it’s safe to say some of my best year 13 moments were in fact in that class room.

So there ya go, there’s a nice high school memory I have just shared with ya. Like I said we all had a teacher crush at some point, mine just happened to be when I was 18 years old and almost finished school instead of third form.

Just realised I’ve made it as obvious as I possibly can about who it is so what the hell, here’s a few photos of the hunk himself.

Traffic lights.

Im pretty sure this is one you can all relate to. I wanna talk about things you do in the car. More to the point I wanna talk about what you can do while waiting a set of lights.

1. 100% Of females at some stage have checked themselves out in the mirror while waiting at a set of lights, hell, some even do it while they are driving.
2. Finish that long detailed reply text to your friend/boyfriend/parent that couldn't wait until you'd stopped.
3. Do your make up. Sets of lights are perfect for early mornings if you need time to do your make up before uni or work.
4. Find whatever it is that you dropped under your seat. Your phone, your lip-gloss, your smokes, your gum the list goes on.
5. Perve on the hottie next to you.
6. If your a Trucky, look down into the car next to you and Perve on the chick in the passenger seat. Good view.
7. Change your awesome music fro Celine Dion to westlife. I know we all listen to shameless music in the privacy of our own cars.
8. Eat that pie that was to hard to eat while driving.
9. Get changed - interesting i know, but i have done it before. Very complicated. It involves pulling the lever to push your seat back, and pushing your butt up in the air to try and get your pants on. Usually a horn is tooted from all the fussing about.
10. Try and find some coins so you can make that maccas run.
11. The good old air guitar or drums jam to your fave song.
12. Go on have a pick.. Put your finger up far enough and you might find gold!

Short and sweet tonight folks. Hope ya enjoy.

Mind read.

Ahh gotta love us girls. Saying one thing but really meaning something completely different. Im gunna write some classic examples of what girls say and what they really mean. Guys, if you ever wanna get laid again, i suggest you read.

Girl says: "You dont need to pay for that"
Girl actually means: "I want you to be a gentleman and pay" This is pretty much a test to see how much of a man your going to be on the date. If you pay it shows us your taking it as a serious date. If you go ahead and take it literally and let us pay for our own ticket, dinner or kiwi yo ice cream then we pretty much take that as we are only ever gunna be mates. It can be tricky though, if you have been on a few dates already then we might actually want to pay to show we arent just taking you for all ya have.

Girl says: "Does this make me look fat?"
Girl actually means: "We haven't had a fight in a while." Your best bet is to look completely shocked and say something along the lines of "Babe, are you kidding me?". You have to be careful with this one because if you go and shower her in compliments all she is gunna do is think your trying to drown her with flattery to keep her mouth shut. Another safe way to play this is by completely avoiding the "fat" question and going to her first to tell her she looks good.

Girl says: "Its up to you."
Girl actually means: "You should know the answer to this." She already knows what she wants and she wants to test that you know what she wants as well. Better pray to god you get it right.

Girl says: "Nothing."
Girl actually means "Everything." The classic 'nothings wrong' line. One hundred percent of the time she means something else if she has had actions such as being quiet, looking down a lot, playing with her food, rolling over to not face you in bed leading up to this 'nothing' line. Give her a hug man and tell her your always down for a heart to heart even though you arent. You will get some sweet fun times out of it after.

We are cruel bitches really. Half the things we say need to be decoded. We are like ticking land mines and ya never know when ones gunna blow. Its not like this all the time but when it is, its worse than sitting a test. Good luck fellas, we complain about you a lot but shit I feel sorry for ya. Girls are hard work.