Mind read.

Ahh gotta love us girls. Saying one thing but really meaning something completely different. Im gunna write some classic examples of what girls say and what they really mean. Guys, if you ever wanna get laid again, i suggest you read.

Girl says: "You dont need to pay for that"
Girl actually means: "I want you to be a gentleman and pay" This is pretty much a test to see how much of a man your going to be on the date. If you pay it shows us your taking it as a serious date. If you go ahead and take it literally and let us pay for our own ticket, dinner or kiwi yo ice cream then we pretty much take that as we are only ever gunna be mates. It can be tricky though, if you have been on a few dates already then we might actually want to pay to show we arent just taking you for all ya have.

Girl says: "Does this make me look fat?"
Girl actually means: "We haven't had a fight in a while." Your best bet is to look completely shocked and say something along the lines of "Babe, are you kidding me?". You have to be careful with this one because if you go and shower her in compliments all she is gunna do is think your trying to drown her with flattery to keep her mouth shut. Another safe way to play this is by completely avoiding the "fat" question and going to her first to tell her she looks good.

Girl says: "Its up to you."
Girl actually means: "You should know the answer to this." She already knows what she wants and she wants to test that you know what she wants as well. Better pray to god you get it right.

Girl says: "Nothing."
Girl actually means "Everything." The classic 'nothings wrong' line. One hundred percent of the time she means something else if she has had actions such as being quiet, looking down a lot, playing with her food, rolling over to not face you in bed leading up to this 'nothing' line. Give her a hug man and tell her your always down for a heart to heart even though you arent. You will get some sweet fun times out of it after.

We are cruel bitches really. Half the things we say need to be decoded. We are like ticking land mines and ya never know when ones gunna blow. Its not like this all the time but when it is, its worse than sitting a test. Good luck fellas, we complain about you a lot but shit I feel sorry for ya. Girls are hard work.