Bad things are meant to come in threes... Right?

So i think its fair to say iv had my share of shitty luck lately. Thought id share a bit of an unfortunate yet some how still humorous story with you. Not looking for a "Pity party" but instead to just get a few laughs out of you simply by using my tragic luck as a way to do it.

I had a work meeting last night. My car was sensibly parked about two hundred meters away from the door. Lights right over top of it shining it up for the whole car park to see, nothing valuable was visible to steal and it was parked next to some flash cars. Despite all of that and the luck i had had lately, it was my car, of coarse, that got broken into while i was in the meeting. Come on people! Hundreds of cars parked there and you had to attack the poor g banger. A crappy little nissan pulsar and you decided to try and take that. I should really put a big sign in the window saying, yes it had a big boar exhaust and it is lowered but DONT let the bonnet scoop full you thugs. Its not turbo. Its just a try hard.

So my night went a little something like this. Car was parked, walked into work meeting at st lukes stayed there for around two hours and then me and my friend mary went to leave. While we were walking out mary was obviously in a hurry to get home as she was about ten steps in front of me. Mary being mary didnt even realise that there was glass all over the ground or that my window was smashed. Infact she was pretty much walking over top of the glass and still chit chatting away to herself (thinking i was listening) and it was only when i yelled out "My fucking cars been broken into! Look!" Mary responds with "What? Ohhhhhhh shit nigger. It has to." Standing on top of the glass. Basically being about three meters behind her i still managed to notice first. Gotta love her.

Well then it was all on. I was yelling, pulling my pukana face, pretending i had my maori stick and jumping around all over the place. I calmed down a bit thinking, its okay bex, its just a window. NEK MINUTE, I open my door and the bloody ignition has been ripped out! So yet again the pukana face comes out. Mary is silently giggling to herself because i look like an idiot and a couple are standing at their car waiting to see if they could help out at all. I dont know why but instead of calling the police first i decided to call a friend and tell him what had happened too which i got the response "Well dont talk to me idiot, call the cops." Clearly i wasnt an expert with my car being broken into. I called the cops, filed a report. Called AA, turns out they only tow break downs not break ins, called insurance and decided not to make a 800 dollar claim just so i could get it towed back home. Called dad and it was only then that i decided to turn into a baby and have a sweet cry. Got over that pretty fast and ended up just calling a tow company. 160 dollars later my baby is stowed away in my drive way with a new window for 200 bucks, and new ignition for 50 (thanks to dad for buying the part and putting it in).

They didnt take anything including my flat mates ipod in the side pocket, my awesome clothes spread amongst the back or my rather empty wallet hiding under the seat. Basically they made an attempt to take my gangster car and failed rather miserably. The wheel had locked up or some technical shit like that so they could start it but they couldnt turn the wheel to get it out :) So my G-banger really is a g-banger because it wont even let the "G-UNITS" take it away from me. Mummy loves you! That thing and i are blimin made for each other.

Everyone that helped me out, Lucy, Mary, the kind couple and friend that stayed back to make sure everything was all good, thank you so much. I owe you a drink. To the idiots that dont know how to steal a car properly, Screw you! Try and take that precious thing away from me? Not gunna happen sorry ma bros. This car and i are forever. Its a little something called fate.

Young, dumb and failing at love.

So i thought tonight id do a blog directed for the females out there. Its about this stupid thing called love. Many seek it, find it then loose it. Others are lucky enough to find it and hold on to it, either because they are 100 percent compatible with their other half or the male she is with is just as crazy as her. 

Heres some of the many cliched lines about love that are meant to help you but really just give you cheesy status' for facebook or back in the day made great bebo skins! Dont go looking for love, let it find you. The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else. There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. The list of cheesiness goes on. Iv decided these quotes do nothing but make you feel sorry for your desperate self and give you a reason to watch the notebook on repeat. So first piece of advice, stop googling "love quotes" (like i just did so i had some to put in this blog) and just maybe you will stop thinking about how your twenty, single, poor and slightly fat from the two pieces of cake you just ate after dinner.

Second piece of advice for the night. Turn your lovey dovey feelings into anger. But instead of getting your phone out and texting your ex about how he was so horrible to you and broke your heart, use your anger to make a banging play list on your ipod or phone, strap it on to your arm and either go hard out at the gym or a swift walk around the block. Youll find you feel amazing after wards rather than feeling like shit staring at a tub of empty icecream.

Third piece of advice. Dont sleep with your ex to try get "pay back" and let him see what hes missing. Its just a free ticket for him and some serious mind fucking for you. It wont work.

And the best thing iv realised this year and also my final piece of advice for this blog. We are young. Who cares about love right now? If youve found it, thats awesome. If not, dont sweat it, youve got ya whole life to settle down. Until then settle into cuddling ya besty after a drunken night out, atleast then youll wake up the next morning with no suprised look on your face and the thoughts "oh shit, what the hell did i just do", running round in ya head.

Some one once told me...

On my eighteenth birthday i got told something. Someone said to me dont blink. I asked why and they responded "because life will zoom straight past you". Boy were they right. It feels like just a month ago i was sitting in my friends car driving down to rhythm and vines freaking out that we were gunna run out of gas in the middle of no where cause we took the wrong way. So whats changed? Well a few more silly mistakes here and there, iv turned twenty, moved out of home, work full time... Shit. Im part of the big bad world now i guess. No more cute little high school. Iv quit smoking about ten times, did really well every time until i started up again. Iv taken a gap from uni to deal with a few things but really its just given me time to deal with double the amount of things. Dont get me wrong i bloody love life. My mates... well to sum them up, they are fucking nuts. That'd be why i get along with them so well. Im still single but definitely not lonely. Live with these two people that i dont even have words to describe how awesome they are. The definition of perfect flat mates = Bea and shawn. Amazing. Infact right now im sitting here having a glass of wine with bea after both our not so good days and i just accidently smashed bea's wine glass. Instead of having a fit that i smashed the glass she instead gets angry because now she has to go and pour another wine and i wasted the last one. No wonder we get along. 

So new years is nearing and to be honest a holiday sounds bloody awesome. Bring it on girls. Time to make more new years resolutions that i know i wont keep. 

First impressions stick.

Tonight i thought id share with you a bit of a cute child hood story. Most of them lead to me having no friends but this one actually has a happy ending.

I guess it all started when i apparently walked out of the girls toilets with a head band and spikey hair. I scared the shit out of her and it amazed me that she was even old enough to be in year seven. She was little enough to be 8. Anyways, after trying to click with a certain group of girls in my class and miserably failing i approached the school dean when i was in sobbing need. Mr fletcher was his name. Think everyone had a crush on him. He was nice enough to sit down with me and ask what was up and what he could do to help. I told him that i didnt know if it was because of my spikey hair or that i was stealing girls yummy lunches (my peanut butter sandwiches on oat bread was gross) that i had no friends or if people were just getting the wrong impression of me. Ill be honest, i dont know what the hell i did to repel people from liking me in my first year of strath but if it was a sport i would have gotten an award at prize giving. So anyway, he asked me who, if possible, i would choose to hang out with if they would want to. I immediatly mentioned the 8-year-old looking girl who did back flips in a skirt lengthed down to her ankles. He told me he would see what he could do.

The next day i was hanging out with this young girl and her other two friends Mary and chontelle. At the time i didnt know they absolutely did not want to hang out with me and were forced to in the end by mr fletcher (i should really call and thank him for that) but i was having a ball. I had friends (well i thought i did), i stopped stealing nikitas lunch and finally had people to sit with at interval.

Well turns out mary had no problem hanging out with me but chontelle and the other girl did. Every day they would try and convince mary to run away or ditch me. They even told me to go out with a boy called richard cryer because i cried all the time. But one day the tables turned... Mary started to hate hanging out with me and the other girl started to think i was rather amusing, or funny, i dont know, she saw something interesting though i guess.

The next year we got put in a class with our two other friends, Lauren and kirsty and then years followed of being in more classes throughout highschool together.

To this day im still friends with the cute 8-year-old looking girl and to be honest, i dont know where id be without her. Thank you Georgia Bramble. Hopefully these days you hang out with me by choice :)

Pet Peeves.

Iv just come to realise that alot of tiny things irritate me in a huge way and i thought maybe writing them down would get them off my chest and maybe they will then go away or atleast calm my rage about them.

1. When a photo is blue tacked to the wall but one corner is peeled off, or the hole photo is crooked.
2. When a blonde wears black bobby pins or vise versa. Why? It just looks trashy.
3. When you have finished your meal around a dinner table and leave the knife in fork in an unfinished position. Its not hard to point both pieces of cutlery into the middle of your plate.
4. When the main feature of a ring isnt straight (diamond off centre), or when the back of a necklace can be seen.
5. When an item of clothing has one side hanging off the coat hanger. Its just plain annoying.
6. Sniffing. BLOW YOUR FUCKING NOSE!
7. The silly faces people think they have to make as the inhale off of their cigerette. Like they are wincing in pain or something. If it hurts you should probably quit.
8. One word answers to texts. And dont accuse me of doing it my friends. I will only ever do it to you to prove my point at how ridiculous it is.

Hmm dont really feel any better about this but now that they are out in the open perhaps i can find ways to avoid running into these certain things. Bit of a pointless blog tonight but when i saw the bobby pins on a blondie at work today it got me thinking. Night ya'll.

My life just isnt funny anymore.

I dont know why but i have not found anything amusing to blog about for some time now. To be honest i could go into all sorts of detail about certain events that have happened but to save myself and many other people humiliation ill stick with a quick update of my traumatizing life in PG form.

Mardi gras. For my sake and the girls i travelled down there with, i think we will just leave it at that.

League fluro party. Hmmm well i was on top form. Think i pissed off a couple of people but thats clearly because they dont know how to handle spewy dewey at her best. Hell, even i cant handle her. The costumes were awesome, the shots were gross and the boys fluro tights were... well... tight.

Pub nights. Well pub nights are pub nights. Theres never one when someone doesnt get kicked out or not let in. Oooooh but heres a funny story, i cant remember why but at bosans the line was exceptionally huge and we ended up waiting outside for a rather long time. These girls took a liking to us by repeating everything we said in this whiney loud whingey irritating voice. I didnt like it, so i started doing it back. Well one thing lead to another and i was yelling out "hold my shit" in this ghetto voice to my mate georgia. She started yelling it back because its a thing we had in school but she was a bit chopped so didnt know i was doing it because of the girls. Anyway i ended up yelling out stupid things and then we got let in. No fight. Disappointing. Although i cant promise i wouldnt have run away. All talk and big voice but tiny wimp inside i guess.

My 20th Birthday. Hmmm maybe someone else should blog about this night because i really have no clue what happened all i know is it was a bloody great night and venturing to cock and bull after a little house gathering was the best decision we have ever made i think. Ask my mate lozza. Think she partied harder than the birthday girl. So 145 bucks spent on drinks, an awesome bail where i decided to drag about 10 people down with me, hair extensions being whipped around the dance floor and not letting anyone eat my cake my best friend made for me.. You can say i definately paid the price the next day. Laura hill however takes the gold medal home for this night after spending 150 dollars on a taxi for throwing up in it. Can always count on her for a bit of class!

So theres some epic nights for my readers to dwell on. Really all its showing me is i spend far to much money on alcohol and have some insane friends who just dont know when enough is enough. Personally, i wouldnt have it any other way.

Rest in peace nana.

Ellen Going 25.09.1913 - 07/07/2011

I spoke at my great grandmothers funeral and heres the poem i wrote for her.

Today i saw that beautiful smile
One with wisdom and love,
Its showed strength and courage and pride
But mostly it showed your tough.

You held my hand and we laughed around
Your eyes said it all without one sound
You were curious to see what id grown into
Hopefully someone your proud of, to call a part of you.

Today i heard the news that my nana had passed on
But the memory and spirit of her will never be gone.
That smile will stay etched in our heart and mind,
And i know shes proud of this whanau shes left behind.

Nana if theres one thing that i could ask of you,
Look after us down here and make sure my papas watching too.
We'll rejoice in the fact that your spirit will live on,
We will meet again even if it isnt until far and long.

So today i see that beautiful smile one more time,
She'll wave us goodbye before she starts her journey of a climb.
The climb to heaven to join other loved ones there,
While we celebrate her life and know that memories we will always share.

I love you nan xx