Sunday, March 25, 2012

Slumber Parties

Back in the day slumber parties/sleep overs used to be when a group of girls would bring their P.J's and watch girlie movies, eat to much crappy food and then tell scary stories perhaps. Well, Saturday nights sleep over with my friends Becca, Jordan and Laura was a little different. Sure it had the movies and chips and dip. But there was no scary stories.

Instead our slumber party started off by watching twilight:breaking dawn and turning everything into something about sex. Laura was highly disappointed with the "sex scene" in it because she wanted to see them "go hard". I was saying that Jacob would definitely fall in love with me if he ever saw me followed by Laura saying "Awkward we are already dating..."

After the movie we decided pilates would be fun. It consisted of Becca videoing Laura pushing my legs down into the splits and Jordan pissing herself laughing. Dont ask me how but that some how turned into showing each other the best sex positions. They consisted of reverse, Pakistani pile driver and the infamous upside down blow job. The upside down blow job was acted out by me lying on the couch upside down and pretending to choke, the reverse was done by Laura jumping on top of Becca and Jordan showed us how to be on top but still make him do all the work.

I was texting a guy mate of mine at the time and he told me we were all fucking nuts. And that it was truly sad that it was a Saturday night and we were watching movies and doing pilates. When I told him we were discussing sex positions the replies stopped. Boys must think girls are so screwed up. Even I was looking at us thinking we are an odd bunch.

After endless laughing Becca's parents got home and sat in the lounge with us for a bit. Geordie shore and jersey shore was on and snow (her dad) kept saying "Where's Kim?" as in Kim Kardashian. Ah wrong show snow.

Then we went to bed. Jordan and Becca were in one room and Laura and I in the other but when we got in bed me and Laura thought it was prank calling time so we called Becca and told them to come into our room. All of a sudden there were four girls in a super king turning caller id off my phone and choosing choice people to call. A lot of them didn't pick up, others text saying "you piece of shit don't prank call me" - Cheers matt, which I just thought was funny cause most know at 12.00am on a Saturday it will be me. Except this time we were sober! Good old warren answered straight away and after my first line it was "Hey Dewey." Apparently I have a distinct voice. The only one that went along with us was our trooper of a girlfriend, Olivia Swart. So thanks lil for making our night. The conversation went something like this: (Nanny/Janice accent) Hi there this is patricia from sex are us. We are just calling to update you on the fact that your dildo is due for a new warrent of fitness. We also have the monthly special of six butt plugs for just $99.99. The porn range out this week is "girl on girl" or "Big black dick", we are aware of your wanted discretion so when it is sent to you it wont be labelled sex are us but instead beautiful flowers.

All in all the slumber party was R18 rated instead of good old PG but much needed girl time took place and im grateful I have girlfriends I can be an idiot around and also just chill out. Its good to know we can have as much fun sober as we do drunk.

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